It's a wonderful life

I know this is going to sound like sour grapes, but, boy, am I sick of reading Ruth Reichl's Twitter posts. Or tweets. Or whatever they're called. Here's the latest:

Watching rough cut of Seattle episode of new TV show. Fishing with Tom Skerritt - such a wonderful guy. Salmon, seafood, fiddleheads.......

In case you're not familiar with Ruth, she has led a gustatory life extraordinaire. Currently the editor of Gourmet Magazine, she's the former food critic for The New York Times, a memoirist, food writer, one-time chef, etc, etc. I would cut her some slack as a fellow University of Michigan alum if it weren't for that nauseating Tom Skerritt remark.....

Most of her tweets are like that. "Had sushi with Harry Connick Jr. today. Nobu has never been better. And so nice!" "Rome is beautiful at sunset. Off to Venice tomorrow for the film festival and cuttlefish risotto with Brangelina. Tired!" "Greek Islands. Olives, oregano, ouzo, Oprah!"

I intentionally posted an unflattering picture of her battling an oyster, above. She and I have the same hair, but I have discovered tweezers, and she apparently has not.

I like to think that if I had her life, I wouldn't brag so much. I wouldn't feel the need to tell you about the bottle of Antico Balsamico I just shared with Francis Ford Coppola at his vineyard or the gorgeous new Illy espresso machine I just received as a gift from PBS or the cooking show I'm about to do where I travel the world with fabulous celebrities looking for the most interesting cooking schools. Or how I come home to my perfect cat and husband and then make perfect meals from the farmer's market in the 2 hours I have before I have to get back on a plane and go to Morocco for couscous and Medjool date cake with the King Mohammed VI.

I would just tell you how my feet are killing me from standing all day. Or maybe I would tell you that I'm about to have lunch in Positano with Russell Crowe at a place accessible only by boat, that I've just tasted the most amazing lemons ever thanks to the volcanic Mt. Vesuvius ash in the soil, and that Pompeii is especially beautiful on the arm of a movie star.

And then you could be the one who tastes the sour grapes.